Hair-Cut!

After all of the talking about what should i do to shed out my old image from the girl i was last October 16, 2006, my mom just accepted my plan to get a haircut soon. So this means, i would rather have my hair cut short, thin & layered more than having a long hair which means i don a long hairdo during the darkest day of my life. Although this is quite unthinkable for a girl like me to do this move, i guess i have no choice after all. But it looks like i have fun more with a short, thin & layered bedhead bob than a long hair, huh? I guess i had fun being a girl who dons Vic Zhou's famous bedhead bob more than having long hair. But i quite missed the times i donned a long, thin & layered hairdo back during Freshman Year HS. The truth is, my hair grows slowly. So, i guess i have no choice but to have my hair cut under the barber's shears again, under the skilled hands of a hairstylist, cutting my hair every second to achieve the hairdo i want to have. For Vic Zhou's famous bedhead, it will take minutes to achieve the hairdo. I don't close my eyes to see how the hairstylist cut my hair, i could see how he does his work. Spray, clip, cut, every section of my hair from top to bottom, then afterwards, blow-dry & style. Ok, so this means 1 thing to keep my hairdo from getting messed up, but the styling putty. I could always have that in case of hair emergencies in case of a former classmate attack. Thanks mom for accepting my decision to have a haircut, i know you would love me to don Vic's famous bedhead more than looking at me like i was like the girl i was last 10/16/06.

Yesterday, i asked myself, 10 days after the 5th death anniversary of my old self aka the darkest day of my life that began 5 years ago, did i do everything to shed out my old self? Was it enough? If it's enough or not, why do i always have flashbacks of what happened during that day? Sometimes, i could rather cry because of what happened, it's so emotional, so painful, that was the wounds that could take a long time to heal or it will never be healed for good. I could bring those wounds for the rest of my life, until the day i die. At the start of the new decade, i did a lot of things to shed out my old self. But i guess it's not enough, even those nights i could tell my mom about what happened on that day could rather ask me if all of the things i did to shed out my old self is enough to keep me away from the troubles of the day i considered the day my old self died by a teacher who back-stabbed me at the front of everyone inside a classroom. But maybe on the day i would step inside a salon for a haircut, i would sit on a chair & let the hairstylist do what he usually does, making everyone don a new hairdo. That will be the right time for my old self to be gone, sounds of the shears, cutting every section of my hair from top to bottom is like it was the sign for me to search for my missing pieces of my puzzled life. After minutes of all of that spraying, dividing each section of my hair with big hair clips, cutting each section with a pair of barber's shears to make it stylish & blow-drying to finish the results plus some finishing details. I just saw my new self in front of the mirror.

The person who could witness all of my desperate moves to find my missing self is my mom, she could rather reject my plan of having a haircut, but what happened last night was a turn-around, i guess she could tell me to do my thing & she will tell me that it's never too late to find myself after all. She doesn't care if i could cry a lot due to my troubled life in the day i encountered the darkest day of my life. Maybe all what my mom wants to do is to continue the soul searching to find the missing links of myself. Ok mom, if i got a haircut, please buy me a styling putty which it was used on my hair last year, huh? I could always want to achieve a Vic Zhou-like hairdo. The questions is, when will be the day i will have a haircut?