Blue & Green Mood

Last night was a night that according to myself, i don't want to go back to the darkest part of my past, but i found out a surprise to my life that reminds me of my little brother's jokes that he could kick me all the way to Taft Avenue or Katipunan Avenue. (No Meteor Garden thoughts for now, Ateneo-La Salle jokes are allowed here.)

During that night, everything was just ok, i was more excited for the UAAP Games since that will kick off on Saturday, July 10. I was reading most of my magazines, some are Ateneo-related. Everything was just fine until, my little sister told me that a former classmate of mine called up, the door was closed during that time, i put my copy of the Chalk UAAP-NCAA July 2009 issue on my bed, went to the door, but i didn't open the door, like i sensed something bad or someone pour a bottle of ice-cold Pepsi in my head, telling me not to go to the phone. So i decided not to go out of the room, go back to my bed & read. My little sister, Puffy asked me why, but my former classmate is waiting for me on the phone, i said a major excuse: "I'm not in the mood." So it looks like the darkest part of my past is still on w/ me even if i could try to move on, that was the most painful part, but i did everything to move on. But somehow, the pain still remains. Until the next hour.

I was not like Kit Taylor who is worried about his dad's safety or Len who is worried if Shan Chai would do something bad to Kit. I was more on like about being Jai Reyes who is doing his best to defend the UAAP Tittle for Ateneo. Ateneo-La Salle mode is on, i was even waiting for a phone call from my new BFF, Rei. (Sounds like Twilight to me.) A dark part of my past life came back to me, it was been 4 years since a teacher pissed me off at the front of the entire class on a Monday Morning of October 16. It was painful, i even had a plan to commit suicide during that time, i admit i shared the same fate w/ the Ateneo Blue Eagles during that time & i was waiting for the time Chris Tiu will be the perfect team captain, good thing he lasted for 2 years. My former classmate keeps calling me & my little siblings begged me to talk to her, but i refused. I don't want the nightmares of October 16 come back, i don't want to see blood coming out from my body like i got a lot of wounds because of that. But afterwards, i started to cry, like watching an episode of The Hospital.

I started to cry, explaining to my mom & little siblings about the reason why i don't want to talk to my former classmate over the phone. The big reason is that i don't want to go back to the darkest part of my past when i was still at COLF. My little sister told me if i say that again, they won't talk to me. But the pain still remains. I said i want to focus on the graduation of my 2 little siblings, i was even more lucky when i discovered Ateneo. But now, Ateneo's rival, La Salle starts to enter my life when my mom told me that my cousin, Ace is taking the DLSUCET. I wish he will surpass DLSUCET so he can study at DLSU-M for college. (DLSU-M stands for De La Salle University-Manila which is located in Taft Avenue, home of the Green Archers.) Maybe a Maui Villanueva jersey is not enough, a jersey, autograph & meeting Maui-san could be a first aid for me to move on. My mom told me about that so i smiled, but i still have tears around my eyes. I don't want to remember the pain that happened to me 4 years ago, i just want to do something just to move on.

I could rather do everything to heal the wounds of the past.