"Gah, i can't believe Nico Salva has a clone named Mitsuomi Takahashi. Nico found his heroic twin, i still don't have my Nike-Ateneo Team Gear!"
"Kirk Long, is this you? Why i thought that you looked like James Mclurcan? If it wasn't for you, i want my very first Ateneo tee to be doodled w/ autographs of all the 16 present players of the Blue Crew."
I forgot that yesterday was the so-called 'Suicide Prevention Day'. Yes, since i was a kid, i've heard some news about people committing suicide. At first, i have no idea what suicide means, but it means 'killing yourself' as i found out about it when i entered high school. OMFG! It was not until when i was Freshman Year HS when i tried to do a suicide attempt, if it wasn't for a misunderstanding between me & my parents. The sign was a bad yet small wound on the back of my lower arm. Sophomore Year HS, that was so intensive. But Junior Year HS is the so-called 'Ma-Drama' stage that reminds me of UAAP Season 70 on the following year. Getting insulted by the homeroom teacher in class, so stupid. But i even tried to attempt suicide, but someone told me not to do it, a friend is waiting for me in the wings to meet her at the Hero Con, it was Rei who is waiting in the wings. So i decided to forget about attempting suicide. I've even remember the so-called 'unreasonable excuses' back when i was in Junior Year HS, the reason why i was absent on class sometimes or having bad wounds. Very un-excusable reasons. Stupid me, never mind, that was a part of my High School life after all.
& now i feel depressed? WTH is going on w/ me? Ok, i make stupid lies against my dear mother back last month, a week away before the big-face off between Ateneo & La Salle (check out the September 3 entry called 'Archers & Eagles Don't Cry: August 14, 2010' to find out about this), a pity fight of words that could end up a verbal brawl. Although action speaks louder than words, the words that comes out from my mouth spreads bitter anger against my mother. I did the stupidest lie ever, trying to defend myself to save the life i'm on right now. God, this is not good after all, it's taking a toll on me. But the only way to save myself from the lie i did is to ignore my mom. Maybe in the end, she will know that i just did a lie that i have no choice but to do it just to save myself. But i was even trying to find the perfect anti-depressants, more than just a tablet of Prozac that i once took when i was in High School, i even realized that when i was just getting started to know more about High School, i took sleeping pills that could end me up sleeping early. I told to myself that i want to take Prozac again. Just because i found out i'm depressed right now.
If the psychologist prescribed me again for Prozac, it will be the happy pill of my choice. As what i found out right now, depression can lead to suicide. So, here's a tip for everyone, don't give up on achieving what you want to have in life, just don't give up even in the trying times. I guess i don't want to commit suicide right now, i just want to find my happiness, even the happiness is not just really as worth of watching the UAAP Games live on the venue or on TV. I asked myself, where can i found my happiness?
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